Clarity is a strange thing. As we search for it we wonder if we will ever get it. When do we get to write the final chapter on this we wonder? It can be a long time in coming but when it does it is all of a sudden. Then comes the moment of realization. Eureka; an at last I found it type-thing.
Found what you might ask? Why the missing pieces of the puzzle, and did I mention there are many.
We learned very young that some people were very off; and these were just those in our own families.
We now know that there are people who are wired a lot differently; although it is not how we would have described it back then. We were clueless. The fog we lived in would not lift for many years. Or at least until we got to understand why things were the way that they were.
The term personality disorder is a misnomer and should not be used. Yes it is the fault of psychologists and they get it wrong. What these people have then is a brain disorder. A scan would reveal the fault lies with the empathy centers in the brain. These show up as dark areas when they are supposed to be lit up and give new meaning to the lights are not on upstairs.
The problem lies with the hardware of the brain so it is not of a psychological nature. Not really. Although some say it is more of a spiritual problem. And they may be right to a degree.
This harms the personality but it does not end there. It has a big effect on how these folk see themselves in relation to others. Egocentricity lies at the heart of the personality disorder and it is not a good look. To be blunt it is a shit show. Just ask those who have to deal with these folk on an up close and personal level.
The will to dominate others, not possessing what we understand as empathy and the quest to gain advantage; are normal traits for the disordered.
Then just add a sadistic streak and paranoia to the whole hot mess; and voilà. They are known to have no respect for the personal boundaries of others come to that.
We know these people have a choice to do what they do or not so it is not random.
One can be either an extrovert or an introvert when it comes to having a personality disorder; it counts for naught in the scheme of things.
It just manifest a little differently in the quiet types. When it comes to trait for trait; they are exactly the same.
They are drawn like a moth to a flame to corporate industry and politics as they crave power. But they’ll take it where they can get it if their options are limited.
The family is a microcosm of this power; it comes with its own narrative its own politics and its own power plays that are unique to it.
Every member has to learn how to navigate their way around it to get through it and in their own individual way. In the confines of the role assigned to them.
You don’t get a choice about if you like the character or not that you have been chosen to play. It is not for you to decide. You will never know why you were chosen to play a particular role either.
Was it due to your strength or due to what was seen as your weakness.
Yet all you can do is play on. To see it through to the end.
However long it may take.